


don't be scared, i'm always by your side.

by ranponigiri



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:27:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29627700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranponigiri/pseuds/ranponigiri
Summary: Tendou watched over Ushijima.
Relationships: Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Kudos: 18





	don't be scared, i'm always by your side.

**Author's Note:**

> just trying to write again. forgive the errors and enjoy!

Ushijima had always been a quiet kid. It was the first thing that Tendou noticed when he saw the boy play by himself in the swing. His face might have been devoid of emotions, but his eyes were loud enough for Tendou to notice the excitement. The wind calmly brushed Ushijima’s hair when his legs finally let his body go after pushing it far behind. It was serene, and Tendou liked the serenity.

He wanted to reach out and play with the quiet boy. However, his feet were rooted in the ground as if they were seeds yearning for the sun and water. They were waiting for their time to bloom. In his side were the friends who would not leave him alone. The whispers of being a monster, the touch of isolation. No, he could not go nearer the quiet boy.

Ushijima was shining even when alone. The sun peaked over the clouds to provide the glow that could illuminate the softness of his presence. If Tendou was not observative, he would describe Ushijima as detached just like everybody else. They were incapable of seeing the child inside the boy, but Tendou could.

He took a step back. With a final glance, Tendou ran away from the miracle boy.

The streets were darker that night. The moon, as well, was too dim. There were no stars for him to watch and compliment. Tendou knew his intuitions were almost always correct, which was the main reason why his _teammates_ called him a monster. According to them, his eerie eyes and face structure matched that very well. His heart and mind told him to stop and go to another direction, yet he ignored their warning. If death was a feeling, it was this.

He did not stop. It was the opposite of his rejection towards the idea of being near Ushijima. At that moment, all he wanted was to go closer despite the skepticism. The grim reaper did not need to fetch him anymore since he himself would knock on the death’s door.

Before completely submerging, he wondered if Ushijima remembered that cold winter afternoon.

“I’m always by your side.”

Ushijima knows how to fly. Even without wings, he flies above others and attacks with so much ferocity. He is truly the image of Shiratorizawa, the perfect example of a courageous eagle. Tendou, however, is aware of the golden boy’s fears.

Ushijima gets nervous when his schedule for the day is ruined by unexpected events. He becomes jittery when he fails to accomplish his exercise routine. Despite the stoic facial expression, he is afraid of their coach especially when he is unable to meet their expectations. His hands shake whenever he holds a pencil to draw. Ushijima knows that his other classmates are too scared to talk to him, but all he wants is for them to be comfortable with him.

Tendou is agonizingly aware of all that.

Thus, using everything he has, he tries to comfort Ushijima. He cracks jokes that will never make the other smile, he offers pastries and sweets that will never be eaten, and he walks by him regardless of the constant negligence. Tendou does not care if they bear no fruit, he is already lucky enough to be near Ushijima.

Besides, who would want to be friends with a monster like him?

No one says a word. Ushijima is evidently harsher today; he has been ordering extra rounds of spikes and making everyone run extra miles. Semi and Shirabu never utter a complain when Ushijima asks for numerous tosses. The face may be blank, but his eyes scream anger and disappointment.

Karasuno’s members were monsters. They had unlimited energy and tricks hidden under their sleeves. Shiratorizawa’s tactic, which was giving way for the spear to attack, had nothing against the fresh entrance of the crows. The rise of the fallen indeed. It was their first loss, and it was his last match.

Tendou walks closer to Ushijima and lies a pat on the other’s head. His hair is soft and smooth, as expected from a clean freak like him. Tendou brushes the strands and massages the scalp. He hopes the boy feels the comfort in each stroke, in each hold, in each touch. He wishes that his hand is enough to convey the emotions inside him, they try to escape to let the world know how much he treasures Ushijima. No, scratch that, Tendou does not care about the world. He wants them to reach Ushijima, the brown-haired male full of power and gentleness, but they do not. They never do.

The miracle boy merely walks farther. He asks for more tosses, for more runs, for more spikes, more and more and more until nothing is left in that lonely shell of his.

No one says a word, except Tendou.

“Rest,” he whispers. “My miracle, rest.”

Again, it is left ignored and rotten.

As foreseen, Ushijima works diligently to be a professional volleyball player. Tendou follows.

He always does.

His current team has a calmer ambience compared to Shiratorizawa. It is, after all, a group of monsters who can match his speed. They have the same hunger for volleyball, the same energy to keep playing until that is the only thing in their minds. Winning and losing do not matter since they are here for the games and the excitement of battling the best players.

Adlers holds the name for one of the strongest team. Like Shiratorizawa, they symbolize a breed of birds. They fly towards the highest of skies and among the unreachable clouds and stars. They may have lost this match against the Black Jacks, the smiles in their faces never wavered. They beam amid the sweat and exhaustion. They talk to their supporters and greet their former teammates and friends. Ushijima shines.

Tendou stands on the side, always watching and helping. He raises his hand and widens the gap among his fingers. He positions Ushijima in one of them and caresses him. The miracle boy is now seen by the world. He knows the time will soon end; he will have to leave.

There has always been a distance between them, but Tendou notices its broadening space. Exactly like before, he can never touch and embrace the golden boy. Still, he wants to know the taste of grasping Ushijima. Just once, that is all.

Ushijima is now the captain of the national volleyball team. His body has grown as well as his mind. He looks different from the boy Tendou observed in the park a long time ago, yet the tenderness and vibrancy remain. He feels proud, so proud of the boy.

“Waka,” he begins, “Toshi.”

The other is discussing techniques with their coach. He listens and talks with authority, one of the reasons why he was chosen to be the leader. The other members are taking their breaks, although Tendou cannot call it resting since most of them are practicing separately.

 _Monsters_. If only, if only Tendou was fortunate enough to stand among them. He would have understood that being a monster is not a bad thing. He would have cherished that nickname, maybe add another before it, guessing monster?

If only, a what-if.

“Ushiwaka,” he calls. Ushijima claps his hands to call the attention of his teammates. They instantly walk near him to form a circle. They start to review their past games and list down the possible improvements they can accomplish.

“Wakatoshi Ushijima,” Tendou calls for the last time.

Ushijima is now happy and contented. He is surrounded by people he can label as his friends; he is not alone anymore. He loves volleyball and drawing, and he is doing both. Ushijima does not need Tendou anymore.

Slowly, bit by bit, his soul evaporates. Tendou does not feel anything but gratification. He has watched the miracle boy from the beginning until the end. He is lucky.

It is the moment of parting. He reaches out and pretends to touch Ushijima, who for some reason stares back at him. At the same moment, the wind blows him away from the court. 

“Farewell, my paradise.”

He wonders if Ushijima remembers that one cold winter afternoon.

-

Ushijima had always been a quiet kid. His father noticed that when he introduced his son to volleyball. He never protested even when overtimes and vigorous practices tired his bones out. The only time he ever complained was during an afternoon of a casual winter day.

He was in a park where his favorite swing was located. When he was a few meters away from it, he heard a ruckus. In the corner, hidden behind a tree, a couple of tall boys encircled a smaller one. They were kicking him continuously while the boy simply kept his mouth zipped and accepted all the blows. Ushijima, on the other hand, could not bear to hear the hushed weeps and the sound of harsh hits.

No, Ushijima was a quiet kid, but he could never ignore a cry for help. He called for his father, who immediately carried him to the scene. The boys luckily ran away when they saw an adult interfere in their ‘playful’ quarrel.

The kid on the ground had a red hair. His eyes were unique while his face was unusually beautiful. Ushijima was automatically entranced. He wondered why those boys wanted to hurt such art (that he badly wanted to draw), perhaps they were terrified of a miracle like that.

He was shaking even when Ushijima’s father tried to comfort him. They asked where he lived, but they only received a shiver.

“Don’t be scared,” Ushijima says.

The red-haired boy lifts his head. He blinked at Ushijima as if those words were the answers to life’s mysteries.

_~~“I’m always by your side.”~~ _

Eventually, he was fetched by his guardians. They never met again.


End file.
